I have realized one thing since being here. I always love to dream about being somewhere else. I usually don't mind this too much--it keeps me going, moving, traveling, experiencing new things. However, in the case of a real move, I get frustrated with lack of time from work and lack of money to really travel around and experience the area, and frustrated with myself for not pushing myself to get out on my days off. I moved to a new apartment this year. A great move! Still a 10-15 min. bike ride from work, I'm in more of a local area, not so much in a 'bubble'. My apartment is the last tall building on our side of the district, so there is a clear shot, above all the houses and trees, of the downtown skyline. During the day, it is not so much of a gorgeous sight, faded by smog, surrounded by construction sites. However I love to look out at the houses and trees, the local life. During the night, the skyline is amazing. :-)
I made a new American friend a few weeks ago, very new to this area. We went out to dinner recently, and she told me of her experiences so far; how she is excited to see new things, but has never traveled outside America before, and is having a hard time with all the new food and making herself to get out and experience the world around her. I completely understood her. I love to travel, have been to many places, have many more places I would like to go. But, getting there is only half the battle of coming out of your shell. It's intimidating, walking into a culture that is new to you, having to get around with a language that you can't speak, eating food you have never been introduced to before, and doing it not for just a couple weeks or a couple months, but a couple years (or just one in her case). And. As much as I have been progressively coming out of my 'shell' over the years, I can still be terribly intimidated by people, being so different that people stare, treat you differently. But, is that because of the cultural differences here? Or just that maybe I am not suited for being in such a situation. (As much as I love Asian culture as a whole as well as so many other aspects about being here!)
I met an American man last night, at a cafe, who travels around Taiwan, Thailand, and Vietnam selling jewelry. (I am hoping to take a look at his jewelry soon!) He has been traveling around Asia for several years, and seems to have quite a grounded view of what it takes to live in the different cultures here. He admitted, though, that this country was one of the hardest to live in long-term. He can only stick around for about 3 months, tops, then he has to leave. However, he does love to visit. Now he is considering his next business move to be somewhere in South America. (He actually thinks my personality is more suited to Japanese culture--funny, as that was my first experience of Asian culture, why I grew to love and direly want to come to this area of the world--and then changed his mind and thought I'd be better suited in South America or somewhere where I look like I fit in with the locals lolol)
So why is it that we can have a hard time being happy right where we are? Do some people just need constant change? Is it a search for where one fits in the best? Is it a yearning to learn more and more about the world? Except, the next place I want to go is the same state I was born in and have visited (and even lived at times) all my life. :-) Well, except every few years there are new faces that appear in our family tree, which make life there more enticing. :-) As much as I love Asian culture (and I believe the man is right about me being more suited to Japanese culture) I am most definitely ready for a place where I can blend in a bit more. I'm thinking.....maybe.....Italy??? So, maybe my answer is a little mixture of all of the above, and maybe with some adventure thrown in. I love the excitement of waiting to see what will happen next. :-) I am also looking forward to the adventure of finding a town and buying my own house....when the time and money are right. :-)
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